A Message From The Vatican On International Women's Day

“In the 20th century, what contributed most to the emancipation of Western women?” questioned an article in the Vatican Daily, Osservatore Romano...Hmmm...Let me see...Well, I think the pill and the choice of working outside the home are two of the most important contributors...But wait, the Vatcian doesn't think so...It had a novel message for the women of the world: give thanks for the washing machine...This humble domestic appliance has apparently done more for the women’s liberation movement than anything else...And guess what the headline of the above mentioned article was? The washing machine and the emancipation of women: put in the powder, close the lid and relax...I would have laughed if it weren't so offensive...

I have this question for you: do you feel liberated now that you don't have to handwash your husband's soiled clothes?
My answer: No, because I still have to load the machine, hang out the clothes and iron, fold and put them away...What would really liberate me is a machine that would do all the above for me in one go...Really, the Bishops at the Vatican are totally clueless...

Edited to add: I'm on a roll now so here is another nugget from Osservatore Romano, the Vatican's daily newspaper...

"after so many years it sounds merely like the boasting of an English working-class lad struggling to cope with unexpected success". 

And what was this in response to?John Lennon's infamous claim (March 1966) 

"Christianity will go...It will vanish and shrink.We're more popular than Jesus now - I don't know which will go first, rock and roll or Christianity. Jesus was alright, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me." I think he was spot on - Jesus was alright, his disciples are not...

Vatican: It's Evil Conspiracy

Everyone knows that the Vatican has been protected it's sexually errant priests for years but according to a suit filed by a group of 43 Alaska Natives against the Jesuit order, this evil conspiracy took a brutal turn in the 1960s and 1970s...

The suit "contends that pedophile priests unsuited to serve anywhere else were dumped on Alaska and put in remote villages with little or no law enforcement, making it virtually impossible for anyone to report them."

The Athabascan and the Yup'ik cultures were specifically targetted because they wouldn't talk...

This lawsuit is the latest "in an Alaska clergy scandal that involves more than 300 victims and about 40 accused perpetrators"

"Problem priests from seven Jesuit provinces in the United States as well as four other countries ended up in the rural villages, mostly in Western Alaska."

"The suit asserts that the international leader of the Society of Jesus based in Rome shares the blame for the abuse because of negligent supervision of clergy."

"Since 2004, the Jesuit order for the Northwest has paid $59 million to settle Alaska sexual abuse claims"

Now you know why I hate organized religion...

(Source: Anchorage Daily News)

Male infertility caused by female urine

Don't laugh...According to a report on Yahoo News, the learned men of the Vatican think that

The contraceptive pill is polluting the environment and is in part responsible for male infertility...

The pill "has for some years had devastating effects on the environment by releasing tonnes of hormones into nature" through female urine, said Pedro Jose Maria Simon Castellvi, president of the International Federation of Catholic Medical Associations, in the report.

"We have sufficient evidence to state that a non-negligible cause of male infertility in the West is the environmental pollution caused by the pill," he said, without elaborating further.

"We are faced with a clear anti-environmental effect which demands more explanation on the part of the manufacturers," added Castellvi.

Now men have something else to blame women for...