Sarah Palin in New York

Copyright © 2008 Creators Syndicate

Location: Briefing room of the Republican campaign headquarters one day before Sarah Palin’s meeting with Karzai, Manmohan Singh and Asif Zardari in New York, September 2008

John McCain (JM): Sarah dear, you have very important meetings coming up tomorrow…Have you ever met a head of state before?
Sarah Palin (SP): Of course, I’m the head of the great state of Alaska…
JM: Yes, yes…What I meant was that you don’t have any foreign policy experience…
SP: I do…On a clear Alaskan morning, I can see Russia from my bedroom window and Canada from my living room window…I've also signed bills concerning the Aleuts...Oh, I nearly forgot to mention the numerous parties I've hosted for hockey players some of who are foreign...
JM: We think these meetings will be great for the campaign…Just make sure you look good, don’t open your mouth and are photographed shaking hands…
SP: But why can’t I speak? After all I am going to be the next VP…
JM: That’s the point… A lot of our voter base is clueless and/or stupid, and these photographs will not only make you look good but also seem ‘worldly’…That’s the whole point of this exercise…
SP: Uh, Uh

A Bengali Dining Experience

Location: A restaurant in Delhi where I’m dining with my husband

SFX: CLING!!! CLANG!!! CLING!!! CLANG!!!
I look back to see who was making so much noise with a fork and knife…
Me to my husband: Oof! That guy is a total ganwar...I bet he's a Bong...
The diner calls the waiter: Boy! Boy!
The waiter arrives and asks: Yes sir?
Diner: I ordered 2 plates of chicken curry…Why have you given me only 2 thanghs (legs)?
Waiter: Sir, 2 plates of chicken curry doesn’t mean 2 whole chickens…
Diner interrupting: When I order 2 plates, I want 4 thanghs…
Me to my husband: Let's get out of here quickly and please don't say another word in Bengali - ONLY ENGLISH!!!

Liberal=Communist=Anti-American

The American elections are around the corner and the conservatism vs. liberalism debate has come to the foreground again…Growing up I always thought being liberal was a good thing…All that changed when I moved the US a few years back…There I realized that a lot of people (conservatives) associate liberalism with communism and socialism…

One day I sat down to find out what the word liberal actually meant…What I found was this: it is associated with phrases like freedom of choice, tolerance, open minded and open to change…These phrases look pretty good to me so why do conservatives try to demonize liberals?

Conservatives believe in limited government, personal responsibility and merit, free markets, and traditional American values…Their policies are geared towards empowering individuals to solve their own as well economic problems…They believe that lower taxes and minimal government intervention in an unregulated market will make people work harder and achieve higher standards of living…

Liberals on the other hand believe that it is the responsibility of the government to provide equal opportunities, alleviate poverty and social ills, protect civil liberties and individual human rights…They believe that the discriminated and socio-economically weaker groups should be helped…

To me, being liberal means being open to change, having choices and equal opportunities …Americans should realize that without the extensive contributions of liberals, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin would not have been able to run for the highest offices in the country…If things were left entirely to the conservatives, women would still not have been able to vote let alone stand for election, segregation would still have been in existence and Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid benefits would still have been a dream…

Some conservative ideas are illogical…They believe that they and only they know what traditional American family values are and that they are the only ones who uphold them…The majority of them are against abortion and say that since they are pro life and fetuses are living beings, they cannot be ‘murdered’…If this is so, why are they against providing pre-natal care to low-income mothers (the US has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the developed world)? If human life is so important, why do they favour capital punishment? Does this mean that some lives are more important than others?

Conservatives believe in unregulated markets so that only the fittest survive…This means that companies will be able to use unethical business practices to push out competitors from the market place…The rich will get richer and the rest will suffer…

My understanding and interpretation of liberal and conservative ideologies may basic but from what I have read, I still can’t figure out why people who don’t agree with the conservative viewpoint are considered anti-American…

The Moment of Truth (or The Moment of Destruction)

While TV surfing last night (Tuesday), I came across this show on Star Plus called The Moment of Truth…I took my fingers off the remote for a few moments to see what it was all about…After a few minutes I realized it was the Jerry Springer Show of reality TV… Even though I didn’t know which American network was the original broadcaster, I was quite sure it was FOX…

Next morning I checked it up on the internet and sure enough, FOX was the original broadcaster…According to their website, The Moment of Truth is about putting participants through a lie detector test to reveal whether or not they were telling the truth.
No. of questions: 21
Prize: $500,000
Promise: To ruin marriages and relationships (not on the site)

Egs. of questions asked :

Do you trust your husband with your sister?
Have you ever had sex with your boss?
Is your husband a better lover or your ex?
Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend?
Were you still in love with your former boyfriend on your wedding day?

What kind of people go as contestants on a show like this? Is money that important?

Trust Fox to come up with a show like this…Not only is the network sensationalistic and sadistic, but also cheap…I am disappointed with Star Plus for lowering itself to Fox’s level…

Finally, Gurgaon Roads Have A Name

Attention Friends!!! I have an announcement to make…From now on all roads in DLF City, Gurgaon will be called Uday Shankar Sarani…Yes, only one name will be given as most roads are currently nameless and road names don’t matter anyway in Millennium City...Why Uday Shankar Sarani? Simple...If you venture out onto the so-called roads in a car, the potholes will force you to dance - you will involuntarily start shaking your head, hips and legs...I guarantee that in one week you will not only become a dancer but will also become fitter...Bye Bye dance schools and gyms, welcome Uday Shankar Saranis!!!

Non-Cliched Bengali Imagery

I am a Bengali and I think its high time people got out of the mishti doi-rosogolla-adda-Tagore imagery when talking about us...There is more to a Bengali than just that...

Did you know that Bengalis love decorating? No, I’m sure you didn’t...They have a penchant for beautifying their homes with doilies and cheap stuffed animals...If you don’t believe me, just watch a couple of episodes of Rojker Ginni on Etv Bangla...Some of them even go to the extent of covering their mirrors with lace sheets...The other very common decorating idea is having a sink right next to the dining table...Why make the effort of walking to the bathroom after a satiating meal of chingri maacher maalai kari and aaloo-posto when you can wash your hands right where you eat?

You can spot a saree-clad Bengali woman from a mile away...How? Because she always wears her saree six inches above her ankles. Despite her attire, she oozes confidence and is a go-getter...She is Maa Durga - Shakti.

Then there is the Bengali man...Like the Bengali woman, you can spot him from a distance...If you catch a glimpse of a not-so-tall man covering his mustachioed face with a monkey cap in twenty-degree weather, you know he is a Bhadrolok. Despite his moustache and intellect (some of it over estimated because he feels that since Tagore, Teresa and Sen received Nobels, he too has indirectly received them), he suffers from the ‘doormat syndrome’...He has grown up with a ‘Maa’ fixation and is totally under her thumb...Then when he gets married he is trodden on by his Maa Durga like wife in her six-inch above the ankle saree...Why is this so? Well, a Bengali man has no physically strong, sword wielding, domineering man as a role model...Can you think of any famous Bengali warriors? No, because there are non...In fact, Bengal doesn’t even have a warrior caste like the North Indians do... We are instead bhaktas of Maa Durga and Maa Kaali – women...

I can’t end this post without mentioning the Bengali wanderlust (yes, you read it right...It is WANDERLUST)…I’m sure all of you at some point of time have come across busloads/trainloads/planeloads of screeching Bengali men, women and children with suitcases/hold alls full of snacks and food shouting "Ei Shunchis…” and “Ei dekhli…” It’s a fact that Bengalis have a compulsive love for travel and adventure and go for at least one annual family holiday (mostly during Durga Puja)…They make up 60 percent of India’s domestic tourist traffic…

I hope I have given you enough new material to create a new imagery for Bengalis…All the best!!!